A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am unhappy because I haven't been getting along with my husband for a while as he has done and said a number of things over the last few months which have really hurt me. These things revolve around him talking to his exes and not caring for my feelings generally. He now wants to make a go of things but I can't get the anger out of my head. I only have to see him or think of him and I feel terrible dislike, disdain and contempt. How can I get beyond this and try to step back and view things dispassionately. Whenever we talk things immediately turn into a huge row and we just wind each other up all the time. Our major problem is that neither of us will ever bcak down or try to see things from the others point of view.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 October 2011):
 Daniel has hit the nail on the head. He usually has great advice.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 You're obviously having communication problems in your relationship. What you both need to do, is put more focus into LISTENING to each other. Hear each other views on a certain situation without interrupting- or getting upset to the point where you lash out. Because then it becomes a heated battle of words. Here are some other suggestions...1. See a marriage counselor. I think your relationship can still be fixed. So if you both want things to work out, you should seek out the counsel from a professional. 2. Come up with a list of things that you both need to do to make your relationship better. And make it a point to take action on at least one of those things a day/week.I wish you the very best!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): So you feel dislike, terrible disdain and contempt and you are 50% responsible for the rows that are result of neither of you being able to back down from your respective view pointYet you still feel you want to get beyond this and back to making a go of things, and how will that work?Your Husband is in touch with his exes for what reason ?If he is still having some form of relationship with these people then his behaviour is not in keeping with a married manBUT, if he is just talking to these people then what's the harm ?These people were once a part of his life and perhaps the relationship has moved on to a past history - friends type thingIf you are going to keep arguing then he will rely more and more on people like this instead of his wife who should be the person closest to himThere needs to be acceptance of his previous life, as well as your own, and that way you may be able to come back together as a couple
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